May 2012
I’m thinking about getting bangs. Quick, someone talk me out of it.
3 tags
Jade: I have a question.
Taylor: What?
Jade: Do you miss Tim?
Taylor: Yeah.
Jade: Me too.
1 tag
I kept beating Jeffrey at Mario Kart and he was getting all mad and stuff and he went in the other room and I get up and start giggling and say Jeffrey’s tired of trying to beat me and run outside cracking up. And I think my arm is going to bruise.
Susan just suggested they get Jeffrey’s algebra teacher a bottle of wine and a vibrater.
I’d be smiling and chatting away, and my mind would be floating around somewhere...
– Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (via jusellietokitoinkee)
1 tag
Taylor: I already ate chips!
Lindsey: (in a stern voice) I want you to eat more.
2 tags
Andy: Remember when Steve came up and gave us that speech?
Andy: He's like about smoking pot... I'm like Steve, you smoke pot.
Jeff: He hearts being blowed.
Andy: He does heart being blowed.
sebastianthedog:
one night two parents went out for dinner
a few hours later the baby sitter called and asked if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids room
the dad told her to get out of the house and call the police and that they didnt have a clown statue
when the police got there it turned out they did have a clown statue and the dad had alzheimers
“i need to stop,” i whispered as i clicked next episode.
4 tags
Roth: I challenge you to a game of pool.
Tim: I accept your challenge.
Roth: ... Are you good at pool?
It’s a mystery of human chemistry and I don’t understand it, some people, as far...
– Nick Hornby, High Fidelity (via nedhepburn)
That’s what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you...
– Deb Caletti, The Fortunes of Indigo Skye (via anditslove)
1 tag
Mom: I don't think I'm supposed to tell anyone this.
Taylor: Why aren't you supposed to tell anyone?
Mom: Well actually I think I'm the one that's not supposed to know.
If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her...
– Castiel Supernatural S06E10 Caged heat (via mishasangel)
i solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet
3 tags
If you don’t feel that you are possibly on the edge of humiliating yourself, of...
– John Irving (via wrists)
houseofhanover:
I wish getting a job in real life worked like it does on the Sims.
Just pick up a newspaper, join the Politics career and eventually become President through building up your charisma skill by talking to yourself in a mirror.